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DRESSING FOR DRAMA

7/3/2017

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Image: Christoph Pirnbacher

There are endless articles out there about something called "Dressing for every occasion". Don´t believe it, darlings.. I never read an article about dressing for drama, those times when everything around you just falls apart and you don´t want to look it. But fear not, I´m here to help you out.
Those occasions, when the love of your life leaves you, the supermarket chooses not to sell your favourite chocolate anymore, or - this being one of the most crushing experiences ever - your perfume, the one that you found as a teenager and spent all your money on, eating potatoes for weeks just to afford it, the one that represents your personality and you feel naked without, gets discontinued. Yes, darlings, you might call me overtly dramatic..

It happened to me some weeks ago. The kids behaved like little demons for weeks, money was tight (well, isn´t it always.. With what we spend on food for four kids alone, I could afford a Celine bag every other month..), and Hubby chose to leave me the evening before my birthday. Only for one day, and, yes, in case you are asking - Joan Collins as Alexis can seem like a perfectly rational and pragmatic human being beside him - and I really needed a grand gesture, one that expressed how I felt, torn apart, but with that subtle nonchalance, moody elegance and dry wit that will keep your sartorial style intact while perishing, like when you are on the Titanic and mention that your drink really needed a bit of ice anyway.. (Note to myself: Titanic-appropriate drinks would be a great blog post..)

So I consulted my Pinterest board titled "drama" (yes, I know what you are thinking) and found only pictures of heartbreakingly expensive stiletto heels - for that provocative walk - and Bette Davis as Baby Jane.

My very dramatic and very, very chic friend I. came to rescue. Men´s suits, she said, and naked feet in brogues (she is the champion of the naked-feet-in-shoes-look, even in the dead of winter), and smudged smoky eyes, like in a Peter Lindbergh photo. And, darlings, she was so right. That´s the best look to adapt to those situations.

​Little tweaks and adjustments are welcome, though. A tuxedo would look good in Paris or New York, worn over bare skin or, when you have nursed more than one kid, a silk bra. I´m being pragmatic here.  Pinstripes could be enhanced by a romantic billowing white shirt, huge cuffs mandatory. A cuff is too short when your fingertips are still showing. The perfect look for the old-world grandeur of Vienna or Prague. Ideally, the streets should still be sparkling from the rain, so check the weather forecast prior to melodrama, if possible. A sweeping black coat adds warmth in winter, look for vintage Yohji Yamamoto or Femme Maison, if you are feeling flush (if you can find the Margiela wool coat from 1993 with those unfinished seams, go for it.. It really does the job!), or even better, wrap yourself in a blanket.. Substitute the suit with a chiffon evening dress or a silk slipdress in summer, but keep the men´s shoes. Blisters are not chic and will dampen your mood. The icing on the cake would be some flowers in your hands, dragging through the dirt, leaving a trace of fallen petals.. Or am I being overtly pathetic here? 
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    That one over there, dressed entirely in Femme Maison, with her beautifully designed appartement and city garden, the one with the exciting life - that´s not me.. But I´d like to be her.

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