TOILET LITERATURE

From the chic to erotic. Witty is good, too.

As a mother, time spent on the toilet often is the only time spent alone. Call it quality time. Treat your toilet as a spa, and it will improve your life big time.

Posters on the wall will give you something to look at while you hide from the kids, and should be as naughty as possible. Though, if I had the money, I would go for the chicest wallpaper I could find, and hang one ore two Helmut Newton prints. With pale-pink passe-partouts. Feel free to realize my dreams at your home. I don´t mind that much. 

You need scented candles. We talked about them before, didn´t we? Matches for those can only come from Cafe Korb, printed with pictures of  fabulous and fantastically chic Susanne Widl. Flowers rock. Always.

Books are mandatory, but as time is limited, go for some light reading. Dostojewski might not cut the mustard. Erotic is good. Witty, too. Here is my choice.

One of my most beloved books is The Curious Sofa by Ogdred Weary. Edward Gorey, really, an american writer and illustrator, whose characteristic pen-and-ink drawings often depict vaguely unsettling scenes in Victorian and Edwardian settings. Obviously, his books were quite popular with children, though he had no particular fondness for them. I can totally relate. 

Case Study Houses would be Hubby´s choice. He won´t admit it, but I know it´s his passport out of this hell called family home. For a few minutes a day.

Wien 1950 is a relic of Tino. I think I might have to give it back now that he knows it´s still in my possession. Please send proposals what to add instead.

Helmut Newton is mandatory, darlings. No discussion here. Private Property is small enough to fit in the nook perfectly. And it has the picture of Paloma Picasso inside. With roses. Just sayin´.

Der Angler. Studie zum Zeitvertreib is a thesis by Tino Valentinitsch and Christian Drawert. They spent a month in the South of France, if my memory serves me right, back when Tino and me where lovers the first time around. I was not allowed to visit, to not disrupt the work flow. I was allowed to proof-read it, though. Whatever. It´s fantastic. Everyone should read it.

The drinks menu is from Bemelmans Bar. Ludwig Bemelmans wrote and illustrated my most favourite children´s book series, Madeline. Bemelmans Bar is the best bar in the world, painted with large-scale murals by Bemelmans himself, who, rather than being paid for his work, chose to exchange it for a year and a half of accommodations at The Carlyle for himself and his family. Smart move. I stole the menu when Tino took me there in 2003, for which I just might forgive him this South-of-France business.

Love, Loss, and What I Wore by Ilene Beckerman is a gem. It´s witty and tragic and full of life, with all its messy ways. If you don´t know it, order it now. You just have to love a woman who talks about her guilt pangs about not wanting to wear a dress she doesn´t look good in with her therapist.

Last but not least: Love by The Great Yves.. Saint Laurent, that is. A collection of the cards he illustrated and sent to his beloved ones to welcome the New Year. I never tire of it.